Stranger Danger - When is it OK to start?

Me and Little H's dad were both raised very differently and this became very clear when the subject of Stranger Danger came up.  My Dad is a retired Police Officer so parts of my up bringing were really strict and although I hated him at the time for a lot of decisions he made, as a mother, I can not totally see where he was coming from.

 

Because there are always stories on the news and in the papers, I didn't think twice about making the decision to start to teach Little H about strangers.  She was probably a little older than 2 when I first started to make conversation with her about it and it went something like this.

 

Me  "H, if we are ever shopping and someone talks to you and it's not Mummy, Daddy or Steve, what do you do?

 

H " I don't know Mummy"

 

Me " You shout as loud as you can for Mummy, Daddy or Steve"

 

H " Like this MUMMY DADDY STEVE"

 

Me (ears ringing) "yes baby just like that"

 

H "OK Mummy, I like shouting"

 

The subject was left for a day or 2 and then I casually mentioned it again but using slightly different situation.

 

Me "H, if you were in the park and someone wanted to hold you hand and it wasn't Mummy, Daddy or Steve, what do you do?

 

H " I don't know Mummy"

Me " You shout as loud as you can for Mummy, Daddy or Steve"

H " Like this MUMMY DADDY STEVE"

Me (ears ringing) "yes baby just like that"

H "OK Mummy, I like shouting"

 

Again I left it for a few days and then casually mentioned it again but bringing Mr Moo into it

 

 

Me "H, if we're out and about and someone comes up to Mr Moo and you don't know them what do you do?"

 

H " I don't know Mummy"

Me " You shout as loud as you can for Mummy, Daddy or Steve"

H " Like this MUMMY DADDY STEVE"

Me (ears ringing) "yes baby just like that"

H "OK Mummy, I like shouting"

 

A few weeks later I asked her the same question and the conversation went slightly differently to my surprise.

 

Me "H, if we're shopping and someone comes up to you and it's not Mummy, Daddy or Steve, do you know what to do?

 

H "I scream MUMMY DADDY STEVE as loud as I can"

 

Me " Well done baby girl that's totally right"

 

H "and if someone talks to Mr Moo and it's not Mummy or Daddy or Steve then I shout MUMMY DADDY STEVE as loud as I can"

 

Me "that's fantatsic H that's exactly what you do clever girl"

 

 

I know there are situations where people may only say hello in a friendly way and may end up with a small firey child screaming in their face, but I'd rather explain why she was doing it than her have no awareness at all.

 

So thinking I was teaching my child something that could potentially save them in a dangerous situation (God forbid) we are ever in that situation, I just carried on having this chat with her every so often to keep it in her mind.

 

Then comes the phone call from Daddy who demands to know what scary thoughts I've been putting into our daughters head.  I tell him what I've been doing and the reasons why and he totally flies off the handle.  He is furious about it as he really believes she is far too young to be told stuff like that.

 

I couldn't control my reaction and pretty much told him that I'm sure all the parents of babies and toddlers who have been abducted wouldn't f***ing agree.  His response was, "well when she's with me and playing in the Park I never take my eyes off her" to which I replied, "well you're a f***ing liar"

 

Being the over protective mother that I am, I know I can't keep my eyes on them every single second so I certainly don't believe him when he tells me he does.  He said that if I insisted on doing it then fine but he wouldn't back me up on it until she was much older. 

 

I personally don't think you can start too young as long as it is done in the right way.  The last thing I ever wanted to do was send my little girl to bed at night with a head full of bad dreams waiting to happen.  I'm happy to say that I haven't done that and she is now well aware of strangers and who not to talk to.  We all have to make choices as parents and we hope they are the right ones.  I believe I made the right choice on this even if her Dad doesn't.

 

I would love to know other people's thoughts on this.