Monday, 25 April 2011

Hello to all

I am one of many women out there who have a beautiful family and also hold down a full time job.  Many of my lovely Mummy friends are lucky enough to be able to stay at home and be a full time mum.  I'm one of those mummies that has to go out to work full time and in doing this I have experienced some very negative attitudes.  My lovely daughter is nearly 2 years old and i've been a full time working mum since she was 6 months.  Due to my personal circumstances I was made to go back to work when Holly was 6 months old.  The first day I had to leave her was the worst day of my life.  I remember, even 2 years on, how she cried as she waved me bye bye and how I was on the phone checking on her every hour.  I hated my new job and wasn't interested in making any new friends, or bonding with my team, I just wanted to get home to my girl and do mummy things.

When my friends found out that i'd gone back to work it was received with very mixed opinions.  I recall how one mummy friend asked if I was worried that I would lose that bond with her?  Of course I was.  I had carried Holly for 9 months, breast fed and been there for her night and day for the past 6 months and now all that was about to change.  That comment made me feel ill inside and left me feeling like I was abonding my baby.  As more of these opinions came to light I started to feel like more and more of a bad mother.  It seems that many people I spoke to felt that it was the Dads place to go out and work and the womens place to stay at home and look after the baby.  My, then husband, had just been made redundant and we had agreed that who ever got the job that could support the family would go to work, and that happended to be me.  I would have loved nothing more in the world than to stay at home but we also needed to keep a roof over our family's heads.

I knew I had to work and so I took the attitude that I would make a success of myself and not only provide for my family but also, give my little girl a mummy that she could be proud of.

I've been in my job for nearly 2 years now and I love it.  It makes me apppreciate my family more than ever and the time I do get to spend with them counts.  We don't sit in front of the telly in silence, we get out and explore nature, we chat and create thngs togther.  We have bath and bedtime together and that is my special time with my daughter.  We chat about our days and what we have planned for the next day.  She knows that when she has me, she has me and all my attention and that she is the most important thing in the world.

It's been a long slog to get the balance right, and believe me, i'm still working on it.  But being a working woment doesn't make me any less of a mummy.



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