Golf Puns - the older I get the sillier I get!

As an avid golf fan I particularly look forward to the Open each year.  This year has been no different and the past two days have been great fun.  As I've been sat at my desk at work I've been watching BBC live, minimised, in a small corner of my screen so my boss can't see it if she walks into the office.

My colleagues have thrown odd looks at me as I've randomly shouted out "ooh", "ahh" and "well played" in the middle of a quiet office.  I've tried my best to keep them up dated with players progress and they have subtly told me they are not interested by putting their head phones in.

The big thing I realised today was that I appear to be getting more childish with each year I watch the Open.  By this I mean that I'm starting to find myself laughing at some of the comments the commentators come out with.  Let me give you a sample of some of the classics that were said today.

"Tiger Woods has great control of his balls"

"There is a lot of brown between his ball and the hole"

"He's having trouble finding the hole with his ball"

'You know about it when he drives it in"

"There's never a shortage of spectators to look after their balls"

"He knows how to use his wood'

'He's got a bit more plumage around his ball than he'd like"

"Johnson has a way of caressing his balls on the green"

These are just some of the comments that have had me spitting tea today.  Maybe the heat was making me a bit giddy or maybe it is that I am regressing the older I get, but either way the commentators really made my day whilst watching today's play.  I can truly say that I can't wait for the next to days of golf and the little pearls that the commentators have in store for us.

Happy watching golf fans!

Birthday Letter to my Beautiful Girl

Dear Holly

 

The 7th May saw you turn 4.  We had a big party for you on Sunday with all your friends from nursery.  We had a disco and girl you were putting some moves down on that dance floor! For your actual birthday we spent the day at Chester Zoo.  The whole birthday weekend has been totally fantastic if not a little hectic.  But, amongst all the chaos and people coming and going, you and your borther were amazing.  You never complained and there were no tantrums and you took it all in your stride.  You were the centre of attention and you handled it very well.

 

You loved the Zoo and just spend the whole time running around from animal to animal while we tried to keep up.  We ate too much, spent too much and overdosed on Ice Cream but it was so worth it.

 

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday.  You were overdue by 12 days but when you decided to come there was no stopping you and it only took me 5 hours to have you, naturally.  I remember how I couldn't stop sniffing your hair (you were born with rather a lot) as I held you in my arms and I remember how it took you hours to have your first cry.  I remember how you scared the crap out of me by going as limp as a rag doll while feedging from me.  I buzzed the nurse in tears that I couldn't get you to move and it turned out you had just fallen asleep and came off the breast.  I started worrying about you so early on and it hasn't stopped.

 

I remember all the visitors and proud family that came to see you as soon as you were born and I remember how proud I was showing you off.  I wouldn't let many people hold you and it took me a while to let go. 

 

I remember falling head over heels in love at 8.36pm on Thursday 7th May and knowing that I would give my life for the beautiful girl that was staring at me with the biggest, most wonderful eyes in the world. I felt a love for you that made my heart burst and my head spin. My life changed for the better that day and I have spent everyday since thanking God for the blessing that is my Holly. 

 

I was tucking you into bed last night and we lay there chatting (as we often do as part of our bedtime routine) and I said to you, "well i'll have to stop calling you baby girl now you're 4" and you put your arm around me and said, "i'll always be your baby mummy".  I fell even more in love with you for saying that and my heart burst with pride.

 

The past four years have gone by far too quickly and I'm often afraid I won't remember all the little details about you but at least I know I remember all the important ones.  I am so proud to have shared your journey with you so far and I can't wait to join you on the rest of it.  I promise you I will be by your side in what ever you do and there is only ever 1 person there for you it will be me!  You make me so proud to be your mummy and I hope I never let you down (other than in the ways parents are supposed to fail their children).

 

Happy birthday my precious baby girl.

 

Love you now and always.

 

Mummy

 

 

 

 

 

No Bed Without Ted Book Review

This book was a present and a lovely one at that. 

This is No Bed Without Ted.



This is a book that Little H got for her birthday and it turns out it's one of her favourite books.  It is a lovely pop up book about a little girl who is heading to bed but she can't find her Teddy Bear.  The story lets you help the girl search all over looking for Ted until he turns up and then she can go to bed, with Ted, and drift off to sleep.

Mum thinks: A really nice book.  It has pop ups and pull outs and flaps that you have to use to try and help the little girl find Ted.  A nice story and a good length for bedtime.  It's good fun to see if you are going to find Ted on each page.  I've also found that Little H often reads this book by herself just so she can look in all the places ( I think she thinks that Ted will be hiding behind one of the flaps this time!!)  It's got lovely drawings and full of nice bright colours.  A really good book and a massive hit with my 3 year old.

Holly thinks: "Mummy I like looking for Ted but don't like the little girl getting upset when she can't find him.  Mummy just made him clean and now they are both in sleepies"

Mummy my tummy hurts....

As Little H approaches her 4th Birthday in a few months time, I'm realising more and more that she is moving away from being my sweet little baby.  She is now going through what my other half refers to as her "egocentric phase". He is an Early Years Lecturer so don't get me wrong he knows what he's talking about, however, giving it the right name does not make it any less of a pain in the arse to go through with her.  To you and me what this phase means is "Me Me Me and a bit more Me"

I am finding this harder and harder to deal with everyday and she makes every day and every activity and come to think of it every little thing about her.  I try to balance the amount of attention I give her and Mr Moo but recently if she is not getting all the attention she starts to create a storm of pain.  Here's an example of some of the classic lines we get now when she's not getting her own way:

I'm not your best friend

You don't love me

I don't love you

You're not being kind

I'm going to call the Police Man

I'm want to stay with Daddy ( this is the one she uses to really hit me where it hurts)

Your a poo poo head

Your house smells of  poo poo head

Mr Moo is a silly Poo Poo head and so on and so on and so on.

The point of all this background detail about my constant daily battles with the little love is that we now have a new popular phrase of "my tummy hurts!"

And there you have it....."my tummy hurts"

I always treat it as a serious thing and say that she needs to calm down and stop messing about for a minute to see if it feels better.  I don't let her have anything to eat that might make it worse and I quite often sit with her on the settee with warm milk to help settle it.  After doing all of this the poorly tummy always seems to feel better and I've come to realise that most of the time it is just her way of getting some one-on-one time with me.

But now how do I stop it?  How do I teach her that there are other ways of getting my attention with out having a tummy ache or a bitch fit every 5 seconds?  I'm very concious that I don't want to ignore a tummy ache just in case one day it is the real deal and I don't do anything about it, but at the moment she is very much the Boy who cried Wolf.

Steve says this phase will pass and she will learn to share me again but while she's using a tummy ache to get my attention I really don't know what to do for the best.  This is one of those times when I really wish my Mum was still around to give advice as she was so used to dealing with my bitch fits (of which there were many as I'm told by my Dad!)

All suggestions would be VERY welcome xxx

Mummy, I've found my nose and it tastes good!

I had the joyful task of putting my, normally great but at the moment difficult, son to bed and it turned out to be one of the funniest nights I've had.

We started with the usual bath and bottle of milk and then, as normal, I climbed into bed with him to settle down for story time.  As soon as I get in he climbs up on my knee and puts his head on my chest while I read.  I would have thought this a typical night if it hadn't been for the fact he was so quiet during the story.  Normally he likes to cheer and clap at his favourtite parts, but not tonight.

When turning my head to look at him to make sure everything was OK, I realised that the reason he was so quiet was becasue he had his finger shoved up his nose.  I literally mean shoved.  I looked at him and said,         "Sammy what ya doing?  Take your finger out your nose" and he just laughed, finger still rammed up the nose.

I said it again but in a funny voice thinking this would coax him out but no, he just belly laughed with the finger shoved up his nose.  I couldn't help but start to laugh and the more I laughed the more he laughed, which made me laugh even more, which made Mr Moo laugh even more all the time with the finger up the nose.

After story time I tried to get him into his sleeping position, as we always do, and he did it very willingly but would not take his finger out of his nose.  I kept asking him too by saying, "you can't go to sleep with your finger up your snoze" and he just laughed, finger still up nose.

So, I decided to call it quits.  He was comfortable and was not moving that finger.  I bent down to kiss him night night and to my surprise he took his finger out of his nose licked it then said,"bye bye".

He rolled over and went to sleep and I had to run out of the room before waking him with laughter.

Stranger Danger - When is it OK to start?

Me and Little H's dad were both raised very differently and this became very clear when the subject of Stranger Danger came up.  My Dad is a retired Police Officer so parts of my up bringing were really strict and although I hated him at the time for a lot of decisions he made, as a mother, I can not totally see where he was coming from.

 

Because there are always stories on the news and in the papers, I didn't think twice about making the decision to start to teach Little H about strangers.  She was probably a little older than 2 when I first started to make conversation with her about it and it went something like this.

 

Me  "H, if we are ever shopping and someone talks to you and it's not Mummy, Daddy or Steve, what do you do?

 

H " I don't know Mummy"

 

Me " You shout as loud as you can for Mummy, Daddy or Steve"

 

H " Like this MUMMY DADDY STEVE"

 

Me (ears ringing) "yes baby just like that"

 

H "OK Mummy, I like shouting"

 

The subject was left for a day or 2 and then I casually mentioned it again but using slightly different situation.

 

Me "H, if you were in the park and someone wanted to hold you hand and it wasn't Mummy, Daddy or Steve, what do you do?

 

H " I don't know Mummy"

Me " You shout as loud as you can for Mummy, Daddy or Steve"

H " Like this MUMMY DADDY STEVE"

Me (ears ringing) "yes baby just like that"

H "OK Mummy, I like shouting"

 

Again I left it for a few days and then casually mentioned it again but bringing Mr Moo into it

 

 

Me "H, if we're out and about and someone comes up to Mr Moo and you don't know them what do you do?"

 

H " I don't know Mummy"

Me " You shout as loud as you can for Mummy, Daddy or Steve"

H " Like this MUMMY DADDY STEVE"

Me (ears ringing) "yes baby just like that"

H "OK Mummy, I like shouting"

 

A few weeks later I asked her the same question and the conversation went slightly differently to my surprise.

 

Me "H, if we're shopping and someone comes up to you and it's not Mummy, Daddy or Steve, do you know what to do?

 

H "I scream MUMMY DADDY STEVE as loud as I can"

 

Me " Well done baby girl that's totally right"

 

H "and if someone talks to Mr Moo and it's not Mummy or Daddy or Steve then I shout MUMMY DADDY STEVE as loud as I can"

 

Me "that's fantatsic H that's exactly what you do clever girl"

 

 

I know there are situations where people may only say hello in a friendly way and may end up with a small firey child screaming in their face, but I'd rather explain why she was doing it than her have no awareness at all.

 

So thinking I was teaching my child something that could potentially save them in a dangerous situation (God forbid) we are ever in that situation, I just carried on having this chat with her every so often to keep it in her mind.

 

Then comes the phone call from Daddy who demands to know what scary thoughts I've been putting into our daughters head.  I tell him what I've been doing and the reasons why and he totally flies off the handle.  He is furious about it as he really believes she is far too young to be told stuff like that.

 

I couldn't control my reaction and pretty much told him that I'm sure all the parents of babies and toddlers who have been abducted wouldn't f***ing agree.  His response was, "well when she's with me and playing in the Park I never take my eyes off her" to which I replied, "well you're a f***ing liar"

 

Being the over protective mother that I am, I know I can't keep my eyes on them every single second so I certainly don't believe him when he tells me he does.  He said that if I insisted on doing it then fine but he wouldn't back me up on it until she was much older. 

 

I personally don't think you can start too young as long as it is done in the right way.  The last thing I ever wanted to do was send my little girl to bed at night with a head full of bad dreams waiting to happen.  I'm happy to say that I haven't done that and she is now well aware of strangers and who not to talk to.  We all have to make choices as parents and we hope they are the right ones.  I believe I made the right choice on this even if her Dad doesn't.

 

I would love to know other people's thoughts on this.

 

Day 2 of Walking In Her Shoes

Tuesday was my day 2 of the Walk In Her Shoes challenge.  Again, I just about managed to do 10,000 steps but by the end of the day I was absolutely shattered and was in bed not long after the kids.  The biggest part of my walk today was the walk back to my car and today it was a VERY slow walk back.  It seems that every day something new is hitting me and today it was bear feet!

I was walking back in my comfy shoes, with nice warm lining and a cushioned heel on pavements that have recently been re laid. I got thinking about the conditions these young girls walk in and tried to imagine doing my walk in bear feet on gravel paths for miles and miles.  I selfishly thanked my lucky stars that I didn't have to do that walk.

Then I thought about my little girl doing that walk in bear feet on a gravel path for miles and miles and that's what broke my heart.  No mother would want to see their baby walk in those conditions for the simply necessity of clean water.


These women and girls have to make this journey every day and after only 2 days I'm already counting down until the end of day 7.  This is why more than ever we need to raise awareness to get solutions in place so that young girls can live their lives as young girls!

Walk In Her Shoes

I've joined the challenge of walking 10,000 steps a day as part of Care International.

 

 

"Walk in solidarity with women and girls in the developing world who walk miles every day collecting water for their families.
 

These gruelling daily treks mean they often don’t have time to reach their full potential in life.
 

CARE is building wells, boreholes and standing taps close to their homes, allowing them more time to go to school or work.
 

This March, walk 10,000 steps a day in solidarity and raise money for women and girls in the poorest communities."

 

 

My Experience Day 1:

 

My first thoughts when I decided to take on this challenge was that it would be a doddle.  I run round after 2 young kids so of course I can do 10,000 steps a day, easy peesey.  How wrong could I be? 

 

I put my pedometer on at around 8am on Monday morning and felt rearing to go.  I was pumped up and ready to clock up some steps.  The first thing I needed to do was get the kids in the car and get them to nursery!  Driving along I was thinking, "not really the greatest start towards my target is it?"

 

I did however park further away from work and walked in.  The difficulty I have is that most days I'm chained to my desk and only tend to get up when I need a desperate cup of coffee for the purposes of keeping me going through the day.  I tried hard to make more of an effort to get up and get walking.  I took the stairs instead of the lift (and some of you may scoff at this small change in routine but I do work on the 10th floor so it's a bloody slog to get up 12 flights of stairs each time I want a cuppa).  I tried to get up and go and see people rather than just emailing them so this got me around the building.

 

It got to the end of my working day and I'd only done about half the target.  I was knackered and my legs hated me for using the stairs so much, but I still had 5,000 more steps to do. 

 

The evening went a bit better as running round after the kids really did help.  It also really helped that neither of them wanted to get in the bath so the battle that resulted led to more steps being used (and these were running not walking as I tried to pin the little buggers down)

 

At the end of the day I had just about done the 10,000 steps (I had to go a couple of steps on the spot just to take it over).  I felt such a sense of achievement and then remembered that I have to do this for another 6 days!!

 

Even after 1 day something quite powerful hit me (other than Mr Moo in the battle of the bath) and that was the extreme these young women and girls have to go through to simply get clean drinking water.  If I want a drink of water I only have to walk into the next room or shout for hubby to get it for me, but these young girls have to walk miles.  I say 'mile' and it doesn't sound that far.  I walk a mile and I soon realise how far it really is and it is much farther than it sounds.

 

Although I walked 10,000 steps all my steps had a different purpose, such as getting the kids ready, getting me to work, doing the shopping, meeting friends, looking after the family and so on.  The 10,000 steps these girls have to walk is just to get water!  It doesn't seem right does it?  Young girls are missing out on the opportunity of an education because they have to spend so much time trekking to get something that should be as easily accessible to them as it is to us.

 

For as much as I cursed the stairs and hated being THAT tired, I'm proud of what I'm doing.  I'm proud to be raising awareness of the poverty these girls live in so that we can all help and make a difference.  Care is working on building wells so these girls don't have to make this awful trek everyday and they can only do this with our help.

 

I'm not the only one Walking In Her Shoes.  There is a team of Parent Bloggers who are all taking the challenge of Walking In Her Shoes and you can support us here.

 

Day 1 down, 6 to go..........please show us your support or why not try the challenge yourself?  It's fun once your legs stop hating you!

When to stop a bedtime rountine?

I have two beautiful monsters aged 4 (nearly) and 18 months.  From before they were born I was adiment that they would have a bedtime routine from the first night I put them to sleep.  Of course this was never going to work with a newborn (no matter how hard I tried) but I did keep on with it as much as I could until they got to an age where it did start to work.  I think I've got a very nice routine that works for both parents and the kids and in our house it looks like this:-

6:00pm                       Toast for super and a warm drink of Milk
6.15pm                       Mum and Dad both get them in the bath so they can have a splash
                                  together.
6:40pm ish                 Out the bath and into PJ's.  Goodnight kisses and hugs given to all 
                                    and then bed
7:00pm                       Into bed with 2 stories
7.20pm                       Finish stories then kisses and big light out and night lights on. 
                                   Gentle sing song for 5-10 minutes while children drift off.
7:30pm                      Mum and Dad downstairs for a drinky drink as beautiful children
                            sleep.I'm not saying for one second that it is this straight foward every night and of course you throw the add tantrum in there and the whole thing goes out the window.  The main point I want to make is that the kids know this is the routine so they know what is expected and it helps calm them and get them ready for a good nights sleep.  It is by no means set in stone and there have been many times when I've had the crapiest day with the kids and just want to get them to bed because they are screaming tired, so I do.  I skip the super if it was a late tea and I skip the bath but I always, always read them a story and have a sing song.

I am also a firm believer that you don't punish kids by sending them to bed early.  I don't understand what this achieves other than getting them to not like going to bed and making it harder for yourself when bed time comes around.

My question is how long do you keep a routine for?  Do they get too old for a routine?

I only ask as I have friends and family that believe I am moddy coddling them by keeping them in this routine.  A family member also has two children of a similar age.  We were round at their house one evening and it was time to put the kids to bed.  She had them go round and give Uncle Steve and Auntie Sue a kiss and cuddle night night and then she sent them off up stairs.  I was waiting for her to make her excuses and say she was just popping up to put them to bed but she didn't.  She literally sent them off up stairs on their own to put themselves into bed.  They went.  All by themselves they went.  No bath not story no nothing they just went up to bed. 

I shot Steve a look of "can you believe that?" and he shot me a look of "don't make a fuss!"
I was amazed that this worked as they did put themselves in bed and we didn't hear from them for the rest of the night but it just goes against everything in me.  Why would you not go up and have that kiss and cuddle as you tuck them in?  Why would you not read a bedtime story and listen as they filled in the best bits for you?

When I told this story to several friends some of them also said that I was setting myself up for a fall as the kids would expect this behaviour of me from now on.  They should be putting themselves to bed and reading themselves a story and settling themselves down.  I totally agree with this and would want them to be doing this later on but not just yet.  Little H is only 3 1/5! Am I being too much by keeping her in this routine? Should she be putting herself into bed by now?  It would be interesting to know people's thoughts on this as it just doesn't sit right with me and I do love the routine we have.

I also like the routine as it gives me one-on-one time with the kids and sometimes Little H just wants to chat about her day or something that is clearly on her mind and I don't want to take that opportunity away from her so I'm not keen to give the routine up just yet.

I know many people have different opinions on this type of things but I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to keep doing it for as long as my kids want and need me too.

Prayers for Matilda Mae and Jennie

A prayer for Jennie and her family.  Recently Jennie suffered the biggest loss a mother could ever imagine and the blogging and twitter community are all here to help in what ever way we can.  I found these prayers and hope they offer some small piece of comfort.

Oh Mother, My Mother

 
I touch your tears,
invisible fingers soothing your skin
I know you think of me so often
in the day, in the night, in your dreams
going into an empty nursery
knowing I'll never be there
but I am...in your heart, in your soul,
I shall always be
for you gave so unselfishly of yourself
Inside of you, you created
such a world for me
a world of laughter, of love
of sadness, of sorrow
every emotion people come to know
you shared with me.
And even though I may never feel your arms around me
I felt your heart beating,
like a lullaby, singing me to sleep.
and your spirit giving me a safe haven
already protecting me, nurturing me
preparing me for things to come
But sometimes the journey of life pulls souls apart
and yes, I had to go on to another place.
I wish I could stay
I wish this was a decision I could make
and I know you do too.
Know this, wherever you are:
I will always remember
that yours was the first love
the first joy, the first soul
I will ever know
you gave me the courage to
go on in my journey
I hope I can do the same for you
Your heart beat will always call me to you.

Love, your child

Author: Theresa Cochrane
Copyrighted by: Growing Family, Inc.
Used by permission

 

A prayer for Matilda Mae

 

 

Thinking of You with Love

 
We thought of you with love today,
but that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday,
and days before that too.
We think of you in silence,
we often speak your name.
All we have are memories,
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake,
with which we will never part.
God has you in His keeping,
we have you in our hearts.
A million times we`ve wanted you.
A million times we cried.
If love could only have saved you,
you never would have died.
It broke our hearts to lose you.
But you didn`t go alone.
For a part of us went with you...
the day God called you Home.
~Author Unknown

Shovel List

I got the idea of the Shovel List  from @mummycentral.  I'd like to share my top 5 hates and would gladly give them a shovel to the face if given the opportunity

1. Baby Beaters

If you don't feel you can give a child the love and care they deserve then don't F***ing have them.  I don't understand why these cretins think they have the right to lay their hands on innocent children this way.  If I was Queen I would put them all on a big ship, send them out to the middle of the Ocean and beat them beyond recognition with a shovel - enough said

2. Fag Ash Mums


Why would you cause harm to your baby before it is even born?  If you can't give up for 9 months for your kid then shame on you.



3. 4X4 Drivers

You may have a car bigger then me but that doesn't mean you own the road!


4. People who abandon the trolley in the middle of Supermarket isles.


It's rude and inconsiderate - stop doing it please



5. People who Say "Don't worry he's friendly" - Yes I'm talking about Dog owners.





I keep my dog on a lead as I know he's not always the most sociable around other dogs.  It really does annoy me when other people let their dog run up to mine and stand there and shout, "It's OK he's friendly"  I have found my self shouting back, "That's nice but how do you know if mine is?"  Please don't assume that we all want to be friends with your dog because we really don't.



I found that I could actually go on and on with this list but thought it best to stick to the top 5.

Who would you have on your list?  Give it a go you'd be surprised what comes out.......

Silent Sunday

The Littlest Lighthouse Keeper Book Review

    

This book review is for one of Little H's favourite books. 

It's called The Littlest Lighthouse Keeper.

                        

This is a story about a mouse who lives with a lighthouse keeper in his lighthouse.  Once day the little mouse is left alone and has to turn the light on to guide all the ships that are sailing in the storm.  However, he is so small that he doesn't know how he will ever make it to the top of the light house.  When he does get there is finds there are more problems and how will such a little mouse be able to solve them.  The little mouse is fortunate to have some very good friends who help him along the way and with a bit of team work they all get the job done.

Mummy Thinks: It's a lovely story that teaches children that A) even the smallest of people can make a big difference and B) anything is possible with a little help from your friends.  It's a nice bedtime read and Little H loves to hear about the problems and then hear how they all overcome them.  It has lovely illustrations the whole way through and I really do support the message to subtley gives out.  I like the way it has a good number of words on each page and so it's easy for kids to follow as you read.

Little H Thinks: "Mouse has lovely friends, just like my friend Olivia, although she's not a spider"

My Breast feeding Story - The Good, The Bad and The Bitten Boobies

As some of you may know I have two little munchkins of the ages 3 1/2 and 17 months.  As a mum I'm proud to say that both my babies were breastfed.  I have to say that I totally agree that breast is best and it would always be my first choice.  This doesn't mean however that I judge mums who chose not to breast feed their babies.  As well as being a big advocate for breast feeding I'm  an even bigger advocate for doing what you think is best for not only your baby, but mum as well.

I had no problems at all when I started feeding my first born.  She was great.  Fed every 3-4 hours, no reflux, slept well and didn't seem to need to feed on me for comfort.  

Then came baby no.2.  When I found out I was pregnant the second time round I knew straight away that I would breast feed and after the first experience I was quite looking forward to it.  I love being able to have baby all to myself  while they fed and get that lovely bond going.  I couldn't wait.

Mr Moo was born in the early hours of the morning and we were both shattered so he didn't have his first feed until about an hour after he was born.  This is when I realised things weren't going to be as smooth this time round.  The problem was he wouldn't latch.  I couldn't blame him really as we seem to think that babies are born knowing what to do when it comes to feeding but why would they?  The midwife on call at the time gave me some support in the form of pushing my nipple into his mouth and holding his head there!  To be fair to her it was just what he needed to get the hang of things and after that he had no problem latching.  

After coming home with him I joined the local baby group and they had a breast feeding support worker there.  I thought this was a brilliant service.  She would watch him feed and give me really friendly advice and tips on how to make it a bit more comfortable.  I got the chance to get out of the house and we both loved going to group to play with other babies and drink tea with other mummies.  I thought the problems were over and other than the fact he wanted to feed every 20 minutes, they were - until.............

At 4 months old Sam started to get his teeth!

At first this wasn't too much of a problem.  Then during one feed Sam bit down on my nipple and drew blood.  I swear to god it was the most painful thing I'd felt since childbirth.  I took him off and put him on the other boob and he was fine so I thought it was just a one off.  At the next feed I put him back on the bitten boobie and he did the same again.  He drew blood again and it was pretty much in the same place as the first bite.

Because I wanted to keep feeding him myself I decided to put up with it.  It wasn't that easy though.  Each time he fed he was biting and it was usually getting me in the same place.  This meant that the bites were never healing and with him sucking so hard it was agony.  My nipple started to swell and I found it unbearable to even wear my bra.

I mentioned it to the support worker next time I went to group and I was totally shocked at her advice.  I showed her what he was doing and told her that it was getting so painful that I was thinking of putting him onto the bottled formula for 2 months until it was time to wean him.  That way my boob could start to heal and Sam didn't need to fear being flung every time he fed.  She turned to me and said "oh no you shouldn't do that.  Part of being a mum is putting up with the pain and carrying on so he doesn't suffer by not having breast milk"

I went home and cried.  I sat on my settee and cried.  If anyone ever wanted to make me feel like a failure then she just did.  I cried. I'd tried so hard to do what was best for Sam and I knew it wasn't his fault for biting but I also knew I couldn't carry on.  My other half came home and found me in a state and we sat down and talked about it.  He told me he was so proud of me for being able to feed him for as long as I did and that he would be fine going on formula.  It was such a hard thing for me to accept but together we did it and I'm glad I did.  It helped that Steve backed me all the way and he constantly re-assured me that Sam had had the best start and I done everything I needed to do for him.  It was great to have this support from Steve but shouldn't I have been getting this from the professionals??

The bottle meant that Sam could now having bonding time with his Dad and my nipple was finally starting to heal.  Sam thrived on the bottle and was as happy as he'd ever been.

I tried to go back to the group to catch up with some of the other mums and babies that we'd bonded with for the past 6 months but I was told that as I was no longer breast feeding I would have to attend another group!  Needless to say I never did go back to the centre after that!

I totally understand that these support workers, midwives and health visitors have the interests of baby at heart but surely they need to start thinking about the mums.  The fact I was so tense and in so much pain while feeding Sam couldn't have had any benefit to his feeding experience with me surely?

I tried my best and as mums that's all each one of us can do.  Situations change and so do mums and babies and as mums we have to change what we do to best fit the new environment, and if that means not breast feeding then so be it.  We have the right to be supported by these professionals whatever method we decide to use.  As parents we constantly feel guilty about decisions we make when we shouldn't and I don't think that health professionals should add to that guilt.  

I am pro breast feeding but I'm also pro supporting parents - no matter what.

My Weekend In Pictures

 Mummy showing Mr Moo how we cut our biscuits

Mr Moo finding baking a funny business.

 Little H getting ready for a good day at Rugbytots.

Daddy showing Mr Moo how to build a tower.

 Mr Moo showing Daddy how it's done!

 Little H having a bit of peace and quiet with a good book ( girl after my own heart )

 Messy play.

 Mummy and Mr Moo running the ferret tunnels at Cannon Hall Farm - peepo

 Auntie Linz with the Boyz.

 Making friends.

Little H Enjoys Book Giving Day

When I heard about Book Giving Day I told Holly about it and asked her what she thought.  She thought that giving books to little boys and girls that don't have any books was a lovely idea so we put our heads together and thought about how we could help.

Holly decided that she would be in charge of finding the books we were going to donate.  She went through her book box and her book shelf and pulled out some nice books.  She then took it upon her self to go through Sams book shelf and take some of his books to be donated!

I then had the idea of taking them to the Childrens Ward at Huddersfield Royal Infirmary.  I explained to Holly that poorly boys and girls sometimes have to stay here and it may be nice if they had some new books to read.  Well, the idea went down a storm and she couldn't wait to help the poorly boys and girls.  

I've always tried to teach Holly the importance of giving to people who aren't as lucky as we are and to help people whenever we can and I think it is now starting to sink in with her.

The proudest moment for me came when I had a look through the books she had pulled out.  I nothiced that "Snuggle Bunny" was in there.  Now this has been her favourtite book for a long while so I doubled checked with her to make sure she knew this was in the pile.  When she said that she knew I asked if she was sure she wanted to give her favourite book away and word for word she told me:-

"Mummy I love this book so much that I want the poorly children to love it as much as me. It's good to share"

My heart melted there and then and I just pulled her close and gave her the tightest hug.

When we took the books to the ward on Thursday 14th Feb she was very excited.  She gave them to the nurse and had the biggest smile on her face.  The nurse said she was very pleased to get the books and was sure the children would like them.  Holly made sure she knew that "Snuggle Bunny" was the best and the nurse said she would let the children know

Holly about to take her books into the Childrens ward.

I'm really pleased that we got involved in this day and that I could share such a special moment with my special little girl.

My Body Has Never Been The Same Since Baby No. 2

My first pregnancy was great.  No sickness, easy time, natural delivery and healthy baby at the end.  I couldn't have loved the experience more.  Little H was breastfed and I was back in size 6 jeans after 3 weeks.  I was glowing and I loved it.

My second pregnancy was much different.  My hormones changed everything in me to the point where I didn't bond with my bump and it caused a split in my relationship for a number of months.  It's fair to say I hated the whole 9 months.  Of course the minute I held my son in my arms I knew I would do it all again and me and Steve got back on track in no time.  Unlike my first pregnancy not everything went back to the way it was.  My skin didn't get any better, my gums were still bleeding and I was carrying baby weight that I hated.  Mr Moo was also breastfed and although it did help with losing some baby weight I was still carrying a lot of flab around my middle. I never really got my confidence back and would often wonder why my family put up with me and the new changes in me and my body.

I thought that going back to the gym would change everything and that I would soon have my size 6 body back in no time as well as my old confidence, but alas this is not to be.  Don't get me wrong I'm certainly tonning up but losing the weight is not as easy as I thought.  I've also made changes to my diet and lifestyle and I'm totally feeling the benefit of this on the inside but when I look in the mirror I don't really like what I see.  I've cut down on sugar and sweets and I'm eating far more fruit and salad every day.  I'm being sensible with my portions and having more control over when I eat and it is making me feel great health wise, but I still had no confidence and hated the way I looked.  Not just the flab but the bad skin, dull hair, tired eyes and so on.  I love my son more than life itself but hate the effects his pregnancy is still having on me.

My view on things changed in a recent gym session.  I was on the bike in the middle of one of my 13.5k sessions when a stunning looking young lass got on the bike next me.  She was very tall, long blonde hair down to her arse and a figure to die for.  She gets on the bike next to flabby old me who is sweating like a pig on a spit roast!  I think to myself "so that's why you are so fit, you cycle a lot" and sure enough when she got on she started peddling with almighty speed.  I felt so disheartned that I just put my head down and thought about concentrating on my session.  

To my surprise after what must have been only 2 mins, she just stopped dead.  I was watching her out of the corner of my eye and wondered what she was doing.  She seemed to be messing with her music so I thought she'd just stopped to change track.  When she started peddling again she went very slow indeed and then only cycled for 10 minutes before she stopped and walked out of the gym.  Well I was jumping for joy inside.  I may be flabby and old but I still got stamminar.

On the walk back to my car I suddenly realised the following: My body is not perfect.  My belly will never be a belly that will fit into skinny jeans again and will never be seen in public again or be seen in anything with a number 8 on it again but it is what it is.  It may never be perfect for any of the above but it was perfect to carry the two most precious things in my world so it doesn't get more perfect than that.  Pregnancy may have changed me and my body but I have to remember why.  It changed me in order for me to give birth to my gorgeous boy with the most stunning personality.  I always thought that if I kept myself fit and healthy that age would never catch up with and it turns out that it hasn't, it didn't need too as pregnancy got there first. 

My family don't see me as I see me.  They see their mummy as a mummy who looks after herself and who is getting Triathlon fit to help the people who helped look after their Nanna.  They love me for who I am and I finally think I may start to as well.  It's not always easy accepting the changes are bodies go through after pregnancy but when I look at my children I realise that it is totally worth it.  As well as physical change there is the emotional change and this is in some ways is the hardest one to deal with.  The Triathlon training is certainly helping with the mental state and so is all the love and support from my ace friends and family.  I'm always amazed how women are able to carry a child and produce a new life but I'm also amazed how many people don't realise that things don't stop when a baby is born.  GP's have told me that it could take between 18-24 months for some things to return to normal and maybe longer for others.

I'm still battling with the hormone changes that the pregancy left me with but I know I have the full support of my family and God Bless them for all they have put up with.  All I can do is keep fit and healthy and teach my children to do the same and if some things go back to normal then brilliant.  If some things don't go back to normal then the world won't come crashing to an end afterall. My body may not be perect but it is just perfect for me!

When I think about Mum I think about.........

I lost my Mum nearly 3 years ago and I miss her every day.  I used to think about her and it made me sad but now when I think of her it's usually the things that make me laugh out loud.  She was a one-off and so I thought I'd share some of the magic moments that I was lucky enough to share with her.

I Miss.......

The way she would listen to music through headphones and sing as loud as you like as she thought we couldn't hear her.  It was always Whitney Houston "I Will alway Love You"

The way I could talk to her 3 times a day and never run out of things to say

The way she never judged me and supported me no matter what.

The way she would send me notes in the post that simply said "Hi" or "I love you" because she said it made a nice change from getting bills.

The way she taught me to bake.

The way she added canned fruit to every pudding to make it "exotic"

The way she liked to eat food with her salt.

The way she couldn't travel anywhere without her emergency sweet bag (not even to the local shops)

The way she was the head hanging over the fence at the end of every race I ran. Cheering me on right over the finish line, screaming my name as loud as she could.

The way she texted me all through the night as I was doing Shine 2010

The way we would buy books from the charity shop and always swap them when we had finished.

The way she always had a hot bath and spare pyjamas whenever you needed them.

The way you could never leave their house without being fed and watered.....EVER!

The way she wanted a slight curl in her hair so opted for the tightest perm and then wouldn't leave the house for a week until it had calmed down.

The way she would fart in a shop and then walk away and leave you standing there to take to the blame.

The time that she pooper scooped up after the dog and got it on her fingers.  She then had a cigarette and left a dog doodo moustache on her face and then couldn't understand why she couldn't get the smell of shit out of her nose.

The time she asked me what the attraction in thongs was as she found them the worst things ever.  Turned out she'd been wearing them back to front.

The way I could talk to her about ANYTHING.

The way we fought like cat and dog but always kissed and made up.

The way she was my biggest supporter.

The way she was my best friend. 

The way was she was my Mum.

Triathlon Training Week 3 - Blummin Heck

Well week 3 should actually be my week 4, however my traing for last week pretty much amounted to zero.  It was largely due to the weather and the fact that I had 2 children hanging off my anckles that I was able to get out.  The snow also killed my poor car which meant I wasn't able to get to the gym.  I am going to count snow ball fights as excercise as both Steve and Holly had my running around a fair bit trying to dogdge their throws as they chose to gang up on me.


So this week is my first week back in the gym after doing not a lot and to be honest it feels good...

Tuesday 29th Jan

I decided to throw myself right back into it and put up with whatever pain came my way.  Surprisingly enough it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would and I was secretly smug at thought that I am actually starting to get fit.  I was so smug in fact that I even upped the level on the bike to force me to put in a bit more effort.  So this session I did my 13.5k on the bike as a start.  Previously I'd done this on level 1 and my time was 28m 25s.  This time I went up to level 2 and completed a time of 29m 56s.  I can honestly say I was well chuffed as I aim to keep my time less than 30mins each session and even upping a level I was able to do it , big yey for me.

I then finished with a 20 min walk.  I tried to go straight into a run, as I would have to in the Triathlon, but my legs gave me a virtual middle finger so I had to opt for the walk.  It felt good and I was sweating like you wouldn't believe but I was happy that I was able to do so much after having a week off.  It is true what they say that once you get the blood pumping it becomes addictive and I've soon gotten back into the feeling of "need to go to the gym"  Not a bad start me thinks!!

Thursday 31st Jan

My aim today was to get to the Gym before work but my little monsters had other ideas and i didn't get out of the door in time so I went after instead.  I got in there about 5ish and it was rammed.  It was so busy that was only able to get on the bike so I thought I'd have another go at level 2 and see what time I could get if I worked my ass off.  So I did and with the help of Slash on the iPod I managed 26m 59s.  Needless to say i walked out of that Gym with a very big smile on my face.  it bloody hurt like hell but that was a great time for me.

What I have discovered is that the first 1.5k is really bloody tough.  My calves tighten as soon as I start peddling and they feel like lead for the first 1.5k.  After that they start to loosen up and I found it helps if I take a drink of water at around 5k.  I'm ok to keep going then but for some reason then I seem to hit another wall at about 7k and this last a bit longer to about 9.5k.  All I can do is peddle through as I've not found a way yet of stopping this wall from hitting me like a speed train.  

After this bout of "stuff this i'm stopping here" my legs seems to suddenly loosed up and then I can go like the clappers.  I get to 10k and I get this burst of energy and I find that my rpm's have gone from 80 to 101.  When it comes to actually doing the triathlon and I'm down on time in the bike section, I feel pretty confident that I can nail it in the last 3k.  What I am mindful of is that I don't want to push myself too hard as I have to dismount and then do a 3k run!  Still I'm still pretty smug about my time!!


Friday 1st Feb

Today I decided that I was going to do my usual 13.5k on the bike and then go straight into the 3k run that i would have to do in the competition.  I wasn't going to push the bike and just stayed on level 2 rather than upping it.  even at a fairy steady pace I did t in a time of 28m dead on.  I then went onto my run and this was not fun.  My legs took a while to register the difference between peddling and running and I think I looked like a drunken soak running to catch the last bus!  I did manage to do it although my run was not in a good time.  

However, I am sat writing this with a hot water bottle on my thigh as I am in complete agony.  It feels like i've pulled the muscle at the very top of my thigh and it's not pleasant.  Looking back I probably took the run a bit fast and maybe I should have cooled down a bit longer.  I did do a 20m cool down but it could be that's not long enough.

I'm still planning to be back at the gym on Monday after a weekend of resting it, as I think I need tokeep it going.  I finally feel like i'm starting to make progress in my training and that I might not look like a total fool after all!