All my fears hit me at once.

I’m going to put today down to hormones, but from the moment I woke up this morning I’ve had nothing but fearful thoughts about home, work and looking after 2 children.  They hit me in the following order.

·         I’m too tired to go to work today.  Baby has been kicking me all night.

·         In 3 months I’m going to be too tired to do anything.

·         Cry

·         How will I get Holly ready for nursery with a small baby as well?

·         What should I have for breakfast?

·         I can’t make a decision

·         Cry

·         Yeah, this shower is making me feel a bit more human.

·         Will I have time for a shower with having to drop Holly at nursery and look after a baby?

·         I’m going to be a smelly mum

·         Cry

·         Pull yourself together and go to work.

·         My desk doesn’t fit me anymore

·         My clothes don’t fit me anymore

·         Nothing in my life fits me anymore

·         Cry

·         Bit more crying

·         Crappy emails about work issues

·         Cry

·         Why am I crying, I normally love sorting out these kind of problems.

·         Soon I won’t have these problems to sort out.

·         Soon I won’t be anything but a mum

·         Can I afford to just be a mum?

·         Will I have a job to go back to?

·         Will I be up to going back to work?

·         How can I be a good role model if I don’t work? I’ve always worked

·         Cry

·         I know a bit of fresh air and bacon butty will see me right.

·         Eventually managed to turn the tears off and get some work done.

·         Maybe I just needed a good cry!!