Thursday, 26 May 2011
All my fears hit me at once.
I’m going to put today down to hormones, but from the moment I woke up this morning I’ve had nothing but fearful thoughts about home, work and looking after 2 children. They hit me in the following order.
· I’m too tired to go to work today. Baby has been kicking me all night.
· In 3 months I’m going to be too tired to do anything.
· How will I get Holly ready for nursery with a small baby as well?
· What should I have for breakfast?
· I can’t make a decision
· Yeah, this shower is making me feel a bit more human.
· Will I have time for a shower with having to drop Holly at nursery and look after a baby?
· I’m going to be a smelly mum
· Pull yourself together and go to work.
· My desk doesn’t fit me anymore
· My clothes don’t fit me anymore
· Nothing in my life fits me anymore
· Bit more crying
· Crappy emails about work issues
· Why am I crying, I normally love sorting out these kind of problems.
· Soon I won’t have these problems to sort out.
· Soon I won’t be anything but a mum
· Can I afford to just be a mum?
· Will I have a job to go back to?
· Will I be up to going back to work?
· How can I be a good role model if I don’t work? I’ve always worked
· I know a bit of fresh air and bacon butty will see me right.
· Eventually managed to turn the tears off and get some work done.
· Maybe I just needed a good cry!!